“Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” ~ Isaiah 64:8

Tonight I was reading my Bible before bed, and I stumbled on this verse as I was finishing up Isaiah. I thought to myself – what a cool image! We are put in God’s able hands, and through His strength and His time and effort, we will become beautiful works of art. (Pause to go back to one of my favorite verses of all time ~ “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago”). The Lord has really worked in my life, changing and molding me and shaping me into this beautiful young lady, so that I can live my life for Him.

Last week, I went over to an old friend’s house, and he has a ceramics wheel (Is that the proper term? Probably not). Anyways, I was so excited to make my first beautiful masterpiece, so I quickly watched my friend do it, decided it was a piece of cake, and then sat down, confident in my abilities as a potter. Man, what hard work! I never realized how much time, and especially patience it takes for a piece to really come together. I messed up multiple times, got frustrated, and almost gave up. But then I centered myself, and let the patience really guide me. When I was finished, I had a beautiful, albeit lopsided, new salad bowl. I was worried about the lopsidedness, but my friend assured me that it’s uniqueness is what would eventually give it its beauty. I was so proud of that dang salad bowl that I almost failed to realize what had actually happened. Enter biblical metaphor…

1) I spent time and energy making a beautiful piece of art. (God made us painstakingly, sparing no detail.)

2) My art was imperfect, but still will serve the purpose that I intended for it. (God’s art was created in His image, but sin flawed us and made us imperfect. That being said, we are still masterpieces, put on Earth to live a life for God.)

3) It was severely flawed, but its flaws are actually what make it beautiful. (God loves us despite our flaws, and if sin didn’t exists, we would have no reason to be close to God.)

All in all, I love this passage as it shows us humans as being beautiful, despite our flaws. God has spent an infinite amount of time, molding, crafting and shaping us. And He does not stop until it is serving His intended purpose – even if the “clay” resists His initial attempts. There is redemption for everyone, and through Christ, everyone is saved.

 

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Today I found a poem that I need to share with everyone:

“For a Friend ~ Meagan Riley

your heart is ablaze like a grease fire,

and even though you know better, 

you run it under the tap.

and the slick flames run down your body

and they don’t stop…

until he puts his hands on you

and smothers them out.

this is step one.

 

after this his hands are too heavy,

too hot;

they stick to your skin, held there by the burnt mottled clumps of grease,

the remains of what burned up your heart entirely…

not long ago.

your mind, untouched by the fervid flames, remembers only the pain.

you wonder if this is worth it at all.

it is not.

this is step two.

 

when he removes his hands, there are charred imprints left on your previously unmarked skin.

everyone can see them – you know everyone can see them.

you catch their eyes catching glimpses of the black hue of char on your arms,

on your neck,

on your legs.

it is so much worse than any burn you would have gotten if you had let the fire burn.

this is step three.

 

but you will move on,

and someone will find you and run his hands over

and over the charred and scarred remains of your heart and heal you,

and it will not feel like the wild hot rush of a grease fire when you look up at him,

but rather the soothing kiss of water from the tap running over the burn.

his hands run cold and bring goosebumps to your flesh,

and his embrace is softer than anything you could have imagined.

 

you have done it. this is step four.”

I think I like this so much because it finally puts words to what I’ve been feeling. This is exactly what it feels like. Yeah there is the initial break, but it feels much more like a burn. The pain makes you want to scream, and it gets way worse before it can start to heal and get better. You have to scrape the dead skin off before you can heal and be new again. 

jim and pam. (slight spoiler, but come on you knew it was coming)

I watched the last couple seasons of the Office when it aired on TV, and over the Christmas break I started watching all the way from the beginning. Sure it can be inappropriate at times, and some of the jokes are just dumb, but it is really one of those shows that lifts you up while making you laugh at the same time. I think my favorite part of the show has to be Jim and Pam’s love story. I mean, let’s be honest, it is most of the reason why I am watching this show. The way that Jim treats Pam is so honest and respectful that I definitely envy  long for that.

I finally got to the season where Jim and Pam start dating, and I am loving it. In the episode I watched today, Jim asked Pam to move in with him because she got thrown out of her apartment, and she said she won’t move in with him until she is engaged to him (not totally biblical, but at least much closer than most TV shows). Jim respected that, and his response was, “Oh that’s comin.” Pam just thought that he was joking, but when Jim talked to the cameras in the room away from Pam, he revealed the ring he bought her and said, “I bought it the week after we started dating. I lost her once and I am not about to make that same mistake again.”

I mean the passion of this guy. He carries around a ring waiting for the perfect opportunity to propose to Pam. He wants it now, but he is willing to sacrifice that to wait for the perfect moment so Pam can have everything she dreamed of. Even in the later episodes when Jim moves to Philly and things get strained in their relationship, Jim stays and works. He knew he made a mistake, so he makes it right by her. He sacrifices his dream job because he realizes that he would rather have his dream wife. I hope I find a “Jim” one day. I mean, how much more can a girl want from a fictional romance?

(When I found out that they weren’t married in real life, I was actually sad. They are my favorite.) 

 

“Gatsby looks at Daisy the way all girls want to be looked at”

I think that a lot of times, women are told that they are crazy or emotional or goodness knows what else we are told. And yes, sometimes we women are crazy and emotional and goodness knows what else. But sometimes, that can work in our favor. If we are crazy, that means we care. If we are emotional, it means that we are passionate. There will always be exceptions to the rule, but generally speaking, women want to be made to feel special. I know that I want to wake up one day next to a husband who I adore more than anything in the world, but more than anything, I want him to adore me even more. I want him to look at me the way that Gatsby looks at Daisy, like there is NOTHING else in this world that exists except for her. I want that feeling.

Unfortunately, as a woman, I need to be able to function as a single person before I can find my one. Right now I am having a lot of problems with being functional by myself because I have ALWAYS had someone to lean on, someone to take care of me. I think this weekend it has been hitting me especially hard because I am away from my family and the initial shock of the break is just starting to wear off. “What do I do now?” is a question that I have been really struggling with the past week. It is time for me to be single, but I don’t really know what that means yet to me. I know this is definitely a time to grow in Christ, but that is really about all I know.

I guess my whole point is that I want a husband. I want to be special to someone that can show me how they feel and love me every second of every day. I want that love and support, that person to lean on when life gets really tough. But first, I need to learn how to deal with life being really tough so I can be that person for him.