Remember when you were a kid, and the hardest pain you had to deal with, besides the occasional broken bone, was growing pains? Remember how your arms and legs ached right before you miraculously grew three inches overnight? Yeah, I wish that was the worst pain I deal with too.
When you are becoming a young adult, you go through a different type of growing pains – this time it is not your bones that are aching, but your heart and your soul. You feel yourself shedding the skin of the past 20 years of your life, all the while slowly evolving into you, version 2.0. Let me tell you, I would kill to go back to the simple leg ache because this type of growing is so much more painful. But what they don’t tell you at the beginning of it is that when you come out of the other side, no matter how long it takes you, you will be a completely different person, inside and out.
I clearly am still in the process of growing into the woman I am meant to be, but I do see the light at the end of the tunnel now. For a while, my view was hopeless, desolate, and dark. I was still relying on myself and others to be my source of happiness, my source of light. But how stupid is that? God is right here, saying, “I will be the source of your happiness, the comforter of your sad times, and the giver of your life. All you have to do is love me first and foremost.” Meanwhile, stubborn Hannah is responding, “Nah. I’d rather rely on the constant flux of my emotions, and the instability of my relationships with others.” How stubborn and human is that?
I think what I am trying to say is that no matter what stage of growing you are in, there is always time to take a step back, and ask yourself if you are relying on God. Christ will enable us to do all of the hard things in our life, but we need to trust Him, rely on Him fully, and always realize that there is room for improvement.
P.S. It is SO hard to forget God’s beauty during this glorious season. Take lots of pictures so that you can remember these beautiful colors when fall is gone and winter is sucking the life out of you.