I think that a lot of times, women are told that they are crazy or emotional or goodness knows what else we are told. And yes, sometimes we women are crazy and emotional and goodness knows what else. But sometimes, that can work in our favor. If we are crazy, that means we care. If we are emotional, it means that we are passionate. There will always be exceptions to the rule, but generally speaking, women want to be made to feel special. I know that I want to wake up one day next to a husband who I adore more than anything in the world, but more than anything, I want him to adore me even more. I want him to look at me the way that Gatsby looks at Daisy, like there is NOTHING else in this world that exists except for her. I want that feeling.
Unfortunately, as a woman, I need to be able to function as a single person before I can find my one. Right now I am having a lot of problems with being functional by myself because I have ALWAYS had someone to lean on, someone to take care of me. I think this weekend it has been hitting me especially hard because I am away from my family and the initial shock of the break is just starting to wear off. “What do I do now?” is a question that I have been really struggling with the past week. It is time for me to be single, but I don’t really know what that means yet to me. I know this is definitely a time to grow in Christ, but that is really about all I know.
I guess my whole point is that I want a husband. I want to be special to someone that can show me how they feel and love me every second of every day. I want that love and support, that person to lean on when life gets really tough. But first, I need to learn how to deal with life being really tough so I can be that person for him.